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ON MEN AND DOGS...
This
is why lots of men have dogs and not wives:
- The later
you are, the more excited they are to see you.
- Dogs will
forgive you for playing with other dogs.
- If
a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
- Dogs
don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
- A
dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
- Dogs
like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
- A
dog's parents never visit.
- Dogs
do not hate their bodies.
- Dogs
agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
- Dogs
like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet
or desk.
- Dogs
seldom outlive you.
- Dogs
can't talk.
- Dogs
enjoy petting in public.
- You
never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours
a day.
- Dogs
find you amusing when you're drunk.
- Dogs
like to go fishing.
- Another
man will seldom steal your dog.
- If
you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with
both of you.
- A
dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would
you get another dog?"
- If
you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room
free.
- If
a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them
away.
- A
dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling
you a pervert.
- A
dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
- If
a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just
think it's interesting.
- On
a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
- Dogs
don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
- Dogs
like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
- Dogs
are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.
- If
a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
--Reeldoc
Want
to read the old rants? Here they are:
Subject: Bush
Point Boat Launching Ramp
BUSH
POINT BOAT LAUNCH RAMP
NEWS
RELEASE: Carcharodon Carcharius
Subject:
Beach Closure
Subject: "Where
is Waldo" - "Where is the Boat Ramp?"
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